I have been thinking a lot lately about the type of mom I want to be. It's easy being a mom now. It's more physically demanding than anything at this stage. It worries me to think of how emotionally and mentally demanding it will be when Kate is older, specifically a pre-teen and then teenager. Yikes, is the first thing that comes to mind. It is so easy to judge what other moms do and say "well if that were MY child, I would..." because my baby is still a little baby. So when I see parents interact with their children I take notes in my head- things I want to do and things I want to avoid. Being a teacher and working with children my entire working life I have had a lot of time and opportunities to see what type of a parent I want to be. I have also learned that the best way to get the outcome you want is to be prepared and plan for it.
With that being said I thought it would be a good idea to jot down things I want to remember in the years to come. Things I will need to know when it gets tough. Things that will make me be the mom I want to be. Things that I will only know to do because I plan on doing them. Things to help me be calm and rational. Here goes nothing...
Dear Kathryn-
As your mom here are some things I hope to do for you...
I hope to listen when you speak, not brush you off because I'm busy.
I hope to make you aware of how special you are to me each and every day.
I hope to show you how to use your imagination and play make believe.
I hope to encourage your creativity, in whatever way you chose to show it.
I hope to be a positive and healthy role model for you.
I hope to show you how to love others and to be kind.
I hope to be slow to anger.
I hope to always think before I speak to you.
I hope to be patient, even when it's really hard.
I hope to teach you self worth and how to love yourself.
I hope to show you what true love looks like by what you see between your dad and me.
I hope to be your friend but above that I hope to be respected as your mom.
I hope even when you think you hate me or are mad at me, that you know it's because I love you.
I hope to show you God's love everyday.
I hope to show you what it's like to mess up but to always learn from the messes.
I hope to show you respect.
These are just some of the things I want to do for you. I preface them all with "I hope to" instead of "I promise to" because I know I will mess up and I know I won't always do these things that I wish to do. Therefore I don't want to make promises to you that I can't keep. Life is a constant learning experience. Though I'm sure I will fail as your mom from time to time I hope you see that you can learn from everything you do in life as long as you stay humble and admit when you mess up.
Here are some things I hope for you...
I hope that you won't be afraid to chase after the things you want.
I hope that you won't be afraid to fail every now and then.
I hope that you do something that makes you happy everyday.
I hope that you do something to make someone else happy everyday.
I hope that you respect yourself more than anything else.
I hope that you know you are a precious child of God and your body is a temple which should be cared for with only the highest respect.
I hope that you know no man will ever love you as much as your daddy.
I hope that you shed more tears from laughter than from sadness.
I hope that you don't waste your time following the crowd.
I hope that you realize you are the best at being you.
I hope you know and understand you are fearfully and wonderfully made.
I hope you realize that God has a plan for you, one bigger and better than you can imagine.
I hope that you don't make promises that you don't intend to keep.
I hope that you don't let what others say determine how you feel about yourself.
I hope that you laugh and love every single day.
I hope that you know just how much I love you.
You are very young and there will be many many many more things I hope for you and hope to do for you. This is just the beginning.
I love you Princess Peanut!
-Mom